


I Love You Both

by selkieskin



Category: Bollywood Movies, Kal Ho Naa Ho (2003)
Genre: Angst, Bollywood, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feelings, M/M, Multi, OT3, Polyamory, Pre-OT3, Relationship Discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 01:41:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7555219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selkieskin/pseuds/selkieskin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rohit and Naina finally learn from Priya the reason why Aman had been denying his feelings. And as that truth comes to light, more truths come to light than they had been expecting...</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love You Both

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I can't understand how anybody would watch this film and not see that this is the way it should have ended. I feel the same with so many Bollywood love triangles/love squares, but with this one... intense. I watched it yesterday and needed to write this as catharsis.

“It's nice to know that... that you guys are there with him... in his last days.”

Rohit felt like he'd been punched in the chest, and he could see that reflected in Naina's face, the same sense of shock and betrayal. She turned and ran a bit to escape from what had been said, but neither of them could take that knowledge back. He turned her to face him and she tried to gasp something out, but couldn't make it make sense. He just nodded, in shock.

All this time, he'd hidden this from them... but why? Aman was stupid like that, always trying to make everything better for other people but straining himself to keep the cheeky smile on his face. Rohit's heart ached when he thought of it. It seemed so obvious now. How could he be such a terrible friend to Aman? How could he not see it?

Naina ran out of the shop. She was running to confront Aman, he knew. She was the one that let her emotions flow through her, acting on them as she felt them, while Rohit could never quite manage to do that, feeling like there was always a blockage. He had always envied her the ability to act, her certainty about making things happen.

Rohit had no idea what to do.

“Did you know he hadn't told us anything about that?” he confronted Priya and her husband, sounding bewildered even to his own ears.

They didn't know that Aman had been keeping his health problems from them either, and were shocked. Rohit had lost the ability to hold a conversation properly, so he stammered out his goodbyes and left the shop, wandering home in a daze. He noticed that Priya exchanged a few quick words with her husband then started tapping out a number on her phone.

It was only once he'd shut the door behind him at home that his brain caught up. He remembered Aman with that little black book clutched in his hand, knuckles white, reading the most beautiful love declarations with the pages in front of him completely blank. He remembered how his voice had been quavering slightly with the force of feeling from it. He loved her. He loved her, and she loved him, and right now they were probably both crying and kissing, perfect together, his two favourite people.

He also remembered looking at Aman as he made his speech and getting caught up in it himself. His cheeks were flushed pink with it and his eyes were bright with love as he spoke the words. He was so beautiful, he remembered thinking. Rohit imagined the name _Naina_ replaced with _Rohit_ , and that wasn't the first time that thought had occurred to him. His family weren't far off the mark after all when it came to who he could give his heart to; they'd seen how they interacted, they weren't stupid.

But at the same time he meant it when he said he loved Naina. She'd always been it for him, ever since they first met. He denied it for a long time to himself, because he loved her company so much and she'd made it clear from the start that she was not interested, that she was not interested in him, and being best friends with Naina would never be second-best to anything for him.

He imagined them kissing again. Two sets of perfect lips sliding against each other. One of those pairs of lips might be gone from the world very soon. His heart did a weird leap in his chest. Strong emotions, but such a mix that he couldn't quite identify what they were. Even so, they threatened to overwhelm him, to suffocate him.

He walked unsteadily out to the balcony, desperate for some fresh air. Once outside, he clutched onto the barrier on his balcony and sobbed, loudly, uglily, like a child. He was grieving, really, for everything. He was grieving for Naina, his best friend, who was now lost to him forever, because she would never get over Aman. He was grieving for Aman, his other best friend, who could never live out his full life and would be gone from this earth in, according to his doctor, a matter of days rather than months. He grieved because this story had no happy ending. He felt like his heart was going to rip in two.

- 

Aman came to see him a lot sooner than he expected. By then his tears had dried onto his face, and he'd tired himself out from crying. Even so, when he saw Aman he felt an unexpected wave of anger. Aman had obviously run to see him, and he looked like he was about to collapse there and then. His eyes were red, he was pale and shaking from exhaustion, even those usually perfect lips were dry and drained of colour. He was gasping, staggering, looking like he was about to drop dead right there on the floor. And why? Why would he do this to himself? How could he not take care of himself – did he not care? Rohit couldn't even bring himself to look at him for too long, it was physically painful to see.

“Why did you lie to me?” was Rohit's first response, more angry than he'd been expecting. His thoughts were a mess, and he was just blurting things out. “You love Naina. Why did you lie to me?”

Aman couldn't even respond right away, still catching his breath, hand on his chest. A spike of panic went through Rohit. He automatically moved towards the other man, trying to support him and hold him up, hands automatically going to his waist.

“I don't love Naina,” Aman gasped out, lying through his teeth. One hand was behind his back.

“Don't do that, enough! Doing this doesn't change the truth,” Rohit said, mimicking the crossed fingers. “Look, don't try and answer me straight away, and for god's sake let's sit down. I can't... I can't...” He felt tears starting again. The angry parts of him and the sad parts of him were fighting it out, but his caring side won for a time, conscious of the state of the man. However, as he got Aman sat down and got him some water to cool him down, and sat down next to him, he felt his anger growing again until Aman seemed well enough to answer to him.

“Have you seen Naina yet?” he demanded to know.

“No, I haven't,” Aman answered. “I came straight to you first.”

“You came to me first...?” Rohit echoed, shocked. “But... you love Naina, don't you? All those times... I didn't see it before, but I see it now.”

“I don't love Naina,” came the flat, defeated reply. Rohit didn't believe a word of it. That didn't convince him at all.

“Naina loves you, you love Naina. And how did I become a part of this love story?” _Why did you involve me,_ he was thinking. _What right do I have to her heart? To your heart?_

“Love stories are made with just two hearts, Rohit... and in a few months my heart will not exist in the love story. I will just be a memory. You're the reality, Rohit.”

“Just two...? I can face reality, Aman, but I don't have the strength to fight a memory. I don't have the strength to... to... to live in a world where...” Rohit gulped. “Do you love me?” he said, in a small voice. Aman looked up at him, shocked. Rohit was suddenly very aware of how close they were sitting to each other. He had been thinking these things for a while, but hadn't been aware that he was going to say that. He looked away, not able to face the eyes of his friend.

“What?” Aman asked, breathily.

“You heard me.” There would be no sense in taking it back now.

Aman battled with himself for a few moments, and then the tears spilled down his face as he broke down, burying his face in his hands. It wasn't an answer, but it was answer enough. Rohit pulled him into his arms – now that he was feeling for it, he could feel how thin he was, how fragile he felt – and rocked him as he cried. They stayed like that for a long time, Aman clutching him and sobbing like he would break in two. As he started to calm down, Rohit kissed him on the top of the head, through instinct, through needing to show him how much he cared.

Aman stilled, face still buried in Rohit's chest.

Rohit kissed him again, caught up in the moment, and again, moving down to his cheek, and again-

“No, no, no, no, _no!_ ” Aman slapped his hands away and pushed off him, angry. “You love Naina! You! You are going to marry her, and you are going to love each other and live a long, happy, happy life. She belongs to you, and you love her more than anything. Don't you? Don't you!?”

“I love her, and I love you the same,” Rohit said, also getting up, never having been able to put words to it before but realising immediately that it was true, the words feeling as familiar to him as his own name. “With all my heart, Aman.”

“I am not an option in this love story!” Aman retorted. “Please, just love her, please, for me. You cannot leave her, and that's it. _Bas!_ Fulfil the wish of a dying man. Your love just needs time, and I... I have no time.” His voice broke. He turned to leave.

“I had to tell you,” Rohit pleaded. “What would you have done if you were in my place?”

Aman stopped at the doorway, then turned round, utter devastation on his face.

“I wish...” he choked out, barely able to speak, tone bitter. “I wish that I was in your place. I wish.”

- 

Later that evening, he went to see Naina. He found her in her bedroom, face swollen from crying. She looked up, and he sat down on the bed next to her.

“I love him too,” he admitted, before anything else. “I love you with everything I have, and with him... it's the same way.”

Her brown, pain-filled eyes looked into his, and saw it was true. Something swelled inside her as she realised she had found a companion in her pain. Whatever reaction she was supposed to have, shock maybe, she couldn't bring herself to feel. She reached a shaky hand towards Rohit's hand next to her and squeezed, leaning into his side. She had heard the rumours about Rohit too and now it came to it, it seemed only natural. Rohit always understood her. She hadn't expected him to understand this, too, but with Rohit everything seemed to always slot into place as it should. But they both felt the piece missing in their puzzle. 

“Did he come and find you, too?” she asked.

“Yes. What did he tell you?”

“He told me...” She stopped to try and regain a bit of control over herself before she could continue. “He told me he didn't love me. That he didn't love anyone. Over and over, but he was lying. Why has he lied to us, Rohit? Why did he keep this from us? How could he not tell us? Oh, Rohit, he looked terrible.”

“Because he wants to see us happy, and he thinks this was the best way to do that. Crossing his fingers to cover up the truth. He told me... he told me I need to take my love for you, and forget my love for him, and marry you and live a long, happy life together.” Rohit turned and gazed into Naina's eyes, face sincere with the passion of his words, “And I will, Naina. I will. We will build a life together, and I will love you as much as I do now, forever.”

“He... he knows that... you love him?”

“I told him when he came to me,” Rohit answered, looking away, hurt. “He wouldn't answer me, and he denied it. The same as he did for you. And... and it hurts, Naina.” His eyes welled up with tears. “It hurts so much to see him thinking that he can never be happy, that he can't let himself go. That he can never have his love returned. He's so amazing, and he thinks...”

“He's so amazing, and he still thinks he doesn't deserve to be happy. He thinks that pretending he's not involved... will fix things. But what can we do?”

They cried together and talked for a long, long time.

- 

It was finally their wedding day. Rohit was better at putting a smile on over his pain, but Naina cried throughout the whole thing. Aman was there too, socialising with everyone and organising everything and right beside them a lot of the time, where he should be.

Rohit caught hold of him at one point, and wanted to shake him.

“How can you pretend nothing is wrong?” he demanded.

“She just needs time,” Aman answered. “Just time. She loves you too, you know.”

And he flitted away and disappeared into the crowd.

- 

Whenever Aman wasn't there with them, it just felt wrong. Rohit's frustration built up and built up and Naina got more and more upset. They were supposed to be celebrating, but there was a huge piece of both of them missing. When the attention eased off a little for a moment, Rohit pulled Naina towards him and whispered fiercely in her ear.

“I want him to be with us, on our wedding night,” he whispered. She shivered a little at the breath against her ear and the thought of it. “I want him there with us. Do you understand what I mean?”

“Yes,” she replied, as inevitable as the tides coming in and out. “Yes, I want him there.”

Later on, when they were sat together and Aman was sat right behind them, almost in between them, Naina took hold of Rohit's thumb and sneaked their hands backwards, right there in front of the crowd. They found Aman's hand and both took hold of it at the same time. They heard him gasp, shocked, and try to pull away, but Naina had expected that and held on, tight, while Rohit lost his grip and found the hand again, and squeezed, trying to pour all of his emotions for both of them into that gesture, not able to look round and communicate it with his eyes because of all the people watching them. 

Aman used his other hand to pry theirs off his, and laughed, as if it had been a funny joke, a prank they were trying to play on him.

“Oh, you guys,” he said, confusion and hurt audible under his joking tone. He laughed, wide, and patted them both on the shoulders and got up and left again, where he had a massive heart attack right in the middle of the crowd.

- 

When Aman finally drifted back into consciousness, everybody who loved him was there. When they had all said their piece, they all filtered out to let him rest, until at last there were only the three of them in the room.

Naina walked round and sat on the bed. Rohit sat the other side. Naina could barely hold herself upright, she was so distraught. Rohit realised he would have to be the one to speak first. Aman needed to know. He needed to know how much he was loved, and how much he deserved it. He needed to know that his incredible love for both of them was returned, and that it was alright. He needed to be at peace now, and this looked like their last chance. Rohit looked at Aman, looking deep into his eyes.

“When we were getting married, it felt like you were our husband, too.” Aman frowned, confused, and reached for him, weakly, but Rohit caught his hand. “So let's make it official, shall we? Aman, will you marry us?”

“No joking, Aman, I'm serious,” added Naina. “We talked about... we talked about how we wanted you there. On our wedding night.”

“Well, here I am,” he joked, deadpan. “You... you talked about that? About me?”

They both nodded, and then Naina couldn't restrain herself any more. She stroked Aman's face, and leant forward, and hesitated a few centimetres from his lips. Aman looked over at Rohit, who nodded his approval and squeezed his hand. Aman reached his other hand up to stroke Naina's face, and search her eyes, and then they were kissing, kissing in the way that only couples do behind closed doors. And to Rohit, to all of them, it felt right.

“Will you marry us?” Naina repeated, desperately, when she pulled away.

“Are you sure?” he said, looking at both of them again, and they both nodded, overcome with the emotion.

They all smiled at each other, watching him realise the possibilities of what they were offering. For even his short life, he could be loved. They loved him, and he was just beginning to accept that. Naina wiped away a tear, and Aman started to speak, voice full of wonderment but sincere nevertheless.

“Then yes, I will. Of course I will. I will marry you both. Why not?” A bubble of laughter, genuine laughter from happiness, burst out of him. “You too,” he said, tugging on Rohit's hand. “Come here.”

Rohit leaned down and stroked his hair, scanning his face for any sign of hesitation, and, finding none, their lips met. And Rohit felt something shift inside him, something fall into place as he kissed Aman and entwined his fingers in his hair. _This was what it feels like,_ he remembered thinking, bewildered. _This is what being complete feels like._

They ended up all lying on the hospital bed, with Aman between them, wrapped up in each other and kissing him occasionally, able to feel how spent he was but also feeling their love flowing everywhere it was supposed to go, between all three of them. It felt like relief.

“Now, I wish I was able to fulfil my duties as a husband properly, but I can't,” said Aman at last, winking at Naina and making sure Rohit saw. “I need to sleep. But I love you. I really, really... I love you both very, very much. Thank you for loving me, too.”

“No, thank you. For everything. From both of us,” Rohit said. “I love you, Aman,”

“I love you, Aman,” echoed Naina. “Thank you so, so much.”

Aman smiled, and squeezed them both weakly before he drifted off to sleep. Then his heart, finally happy, at last stopped beating.


End file.
